


Fjord's Fun

by Talinor



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, M/M, Masturbation, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sexual Fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:47:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21839944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talinor/pseuds/Talinor
Summary: Fjord takes a well-earned break.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Fjord
Comments: 15
Kudos: 256





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> it's been a hot minute since I've written more detailed smut, but I had this idea last night and it Would Not let me go  
> enjoy!

It had been a long, long day.

Fjord collapsed onto his rented bed, letting the exhaustion that’d been looming over him finally settle in. The sheets were soft, the mattress was fairly even, the pillows were just fluffy enough. It smelled a little weird, but he’s slept in far weirder places this past week.

For now, he was the only one in the room. Some of the others poked fun at him for turning in so early, but this was nice. He could still hear the laughter of the bargoers, but distance and the closed door made everything else sound muffled and far away. Leaving him on his own little island away from the world. For the first time in a while, he was utterly and truly alone. No problems. No pressing issues. Just him, a quiet and comfortable room, and his thoughts.

Something in him stirred at the concept of privacy. Something he’d been ignoring and putting off for far too long. If the growing heat in his gut was any indication, his body wasn’t going to take no or ‘someone might see’ as an answer this time. The night was young. He was alone, and probably would be for quite a while. The siren song of sleep was rather muted. If there was a perfect time, it was now.

…Fuck it. Why not?

He flipped around to lay on his back and closed his eyes. As riveting as the ceiling was, the comforting darkness would let him focus on other sensations. One hand traveled down his body, letting himself enjoy the journey before the destination. It’d been a while since he’d slept without armor on. He let himself savor the sensation. His hand lightly squeezed and played with the growing bulge in his pants before he decided to move on.

He was only at half-mast, so thankfully taking off his pants didn’t make him smack his stomach with his own dick. A little shimmy was more than enough to free his legs. The skin-on-skin contact was tentative at first, slowly building up to full hardness. His teeth dragged on his bottom lip, cautious of the growing tusks.

He took his sweet time, so his mind began to wander aimlessly. It didn’t take long for his mind to conjure up the image of someone else’s hand where his own was. Feeling the soft warmth develop a slow but steady pattern on the velvety skin. His breath instinctively hitched at the thought. The heat built. So his mind continued with the fantasy, building it to be more elaborate.

In this little fantasy, he wasn’t lying down with his head on a pillow. His head was resting against the mystery person’s shoulder. They were whispering sweet nothings in his ear, utterly indistinguishable, but the voice alone spurred him on. It was deep and rumbled in his core, but still strangely comforting. Telling him he was _so good_ , he deserved a break. He was inclined to agree with them.

The mystery person smelled like flowers and tea. Their frame was a bit lanky against him, but it still held him securely. He could almost feel long, soft pink hair tickling his cheek. See kind purple eyes looking at him with soft adoration and admiration as that calm voice kept singing his praises oh-so-sweetly.

Outside of the fantasy, he slowed to a near-standstill. Oh no. Oh _shit._

The fantasy person was Caduceus. He was imagining a dear friend doing all these things to him, and the worst part was… He fucking _loved_ it. Part of him knew this was wrong and probably not healthy, but another wanted to be a little self-indulgent for a change. It’s not like the real Caduceus would ever find out. A little fantasizing certainly wouldn’t harm anyone, right?

 _…Okay,_ he told himself. _Just this once. That’s it._

He picked up the pace again, letting the fantasy bleed back into his mind. With his other hand, imaginary Caduceus ran his fingers through Fjord’s hair. Actual Fjord mirrored the motion to simulate the feeling. Long, careful fingers lightly dug into his scalp with the occasional tug that only spurred him on. The pace quickened ever so slightly.

Part of him still felt a little bit guilty for thinking of his friend like this, but it was getting quickly drowned out by the majority of his mind, which was _too fucking horny_ to care right now. He was alone with his thoughts. The only one who could possibly judge him… was him.

He continued. The familiar feeling in his gut was slowly beginning to build up to the breaking point. Not quite there yet, but at this rate, soon. He’d enjoy this for however long it lasted.

Caduceus’ hand traveled down to his chest. “So _strong_ ,” he cooed, lightly teasing his nipples. The other hand started to go faster, yet it was still so sweet. “Are you close?”

Fjord nodded. The heat in his gut coiled tighter and tighter, nearly begging to release the building tension. The buildup felt so fucking good, but he could barely wait to feel the culmination of his efforts.

Caduceus smiled down at him, those kind eyes edged with something far less innocent. It was the most unlike him this Cad had been, but that look certainly helped Fjord’s situation along. “Good, good,” Caduceus said. “Come for me.”

It shamed him that _that_ smut book cliché was the thing that tipped him over the edge, but it did. Hearing kind, caring Caduceus command him was enough to do it for him. A wave of pleasure washed over him as his hips bucked up and his toes curled. It was hard to focus on anything but getting swept up in the feeling, but he’s pretty sure he said something as he came. He’d already finished a breathless “Cad,” by the time he realized, so he abruptly cut it short. Instead he focused on riding the high while it lasted… and trying to forget part of what he just did.

It took him a minute to settle back down. By that time, he’d resigned himself to forget that whole fantasy never happened. Everything would just… go back to normal, and this could be his dirty little secret.

That nice little concept lasted about 5 seconds before he opened his eyes.

Across and a little to the left from his bed stood an open door and the worst possible person to be standing in it: Caduceus Clay. The real one. Looking right at him with wide eyes and a face tinged pinker than his hair. He had no idea how long he’d been standing there, but considering his dick was still very much out in the open, the situation was bad no matter how you spun it.

Their eyes met, and Caduceus uttered the most honest (if unhelpful word) possible.

“…Oh.”


	2. Caduceus Clay's Calamity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've had like 80% of this done since the day after chapter 1 but i got busy  
> i'll probably do a followup to this of the climax (wink) aka the confrontation  
> still, i hope you enjoy this!

Caduceus hadn’t been sure what he’d see when he went to get Fjord, but he can say with certainty that what happened… was not what he anticipated. When he opened that door, he couldn’t explain why he didn’t immediately close it. Why he didn’t let his friend finish his… ‘private time’ without an audience.

And finish Fjord quickly did, unknowingly putting the last nail in his coffin.

Cad watched as his friend quickened his pace with newfound fervor. In no time, he reached the peak and fell off. Watching him do so was bad enough, but that was only the tip of the iceberg for him. For Fjord moaned three simple letters breathlessly as he came, a simple word that made Caduceus feel a million times more confused and frozen for witnessing.

_“Cad--!”_

A name. The start of his name.

Oh Melora.

At first, he tried to rationalize it. Maybe Fjord saw him at the most inopportune time and was trying to talk to him. But he was still relaxed, completely unaware. His eyes were still closed as he bathed in the afterglow. He tried a couple other explanations, but none of them made any more sense.

Fjord had willingly started to call out his name as he came. At least to some degree, he’d been on Fjord’s mind while… going at it. There weren’t really a lot of creative ways to explain why.

Then their eyes met. Fjord’s half-lidded gaze widened in an instant. His hand couldn’t grab at the nearest sheet fast enough to cover himself.

He should say something, right? But what in Melora’s name could he even say right now? He had a distinct feeling ‘well that’s nice’ wouldn’t really cut it in this situation. Part of him wanted to get right to the point and ask about the name thing. But when Caduceus actually tried to speak, all that came out was. “…Oh.”

“Cad,” Fjord said for the second time in about three minutes. “I… can explain.”

He tried his best to smile without showing that he was dying inside. “No need,” he assured. “Sorry for intruding.” He reached for the door. “When you’re ready, Beau wanted to see you downstairs.” Before Fjord could utter another word, the door was promptly shut.

Caduceus took a moment for himself to properly process everything he’d witnessed. He didn’t quite understand it all, but he didn’t have to. It was probably better that way. He took a deep breath, letting himself calm down. Letting the heat in his cheeks cool down. A hand through his hair to finish the job of calming himself, and he was ready to go.

Caduceus rejoined the revelry of the tavern below. The conversation had long since moved to another topic he didn’t really know about, but that was okay. He was more than happy to sit with his still-warm cup of tea and sort through his thoughts.

Which predictably kept going back to Fjord. He was a good friend. Should they have talked things out, right there and then? Compared to what they usually did, this’d been rather mundane. Yet it felt like things had been moving incomprehensibly fast. He’d panicked. Did he make things worse?

…Yes, most likely. He sighed. Great.

He glanced around at the tavern joyously going on with its business around him. He needed to talk to one of his friends about this. Maybe get some valuable insight from someone that wasn’t drunk out of their mind or heading there quickly. With that one rule alone, he ruled out Nott and Beau. Yasha was nowhere to be seen. Caleb was off in a far corner, intently reading his spell book. It’d be rude to interrupt him for something so trivial. Which left him with one option.

Jester.

She was currently open, considering her conversation-mates were currently getting more refreshments. She’d probably had a drink or two, but she was probably sober enough to provide some worthwhile insight with her different perspective. He got up to talk to her before he could talk himself out of it.

Unsurprisingly, she noticed him heading her way rather quickly. Her expression brightened as she waved him over. “Caduceus!” she said as soon as he was in earshot. “Did you know they light some drinks on fire here?” The excitement in her voice was palpable.

No he didn’t, and he answered as much as he sat down. “Wouldn’t that be--“ He shook his head. He was going to say dangerous, but honestly? They’d all been through far worse. If they wanted to drink some strange-tasting fiery water, the more power to them. “Never mind. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Oh?” She raised a brow, resting her cheek on her palm. “What is it?”

Part of him wanted to tell the truth. But would that be for the best? It was a lot for him to process, and he lived it. Should he drag someone else, who would probably tease him (and/or Fjord) about it endlessly, into this?

Maybe he didn’t have to. In a strange, roundabout way.

“I’m writing a book,” he said the first viable lie that came to mind. “A…” What was the descriptor for it, again? “… ‘smutty’ one. But I’ve sort of written myself into a corner, so I thought a new pair of eyes might help.” He raised a brow. “Would you be interested?”

She nodded excitedly. “Do you have a sample?”

Oh no. Stay calm, don’t be phased. That’s what you’re supposed to do, right? “…Not on me, no,” he lied further. “Just brainstorming right now.”

“O-kayy?” She was growing a little suspicious, but was still willing to listen. Hopefully the next part would be more convincing. “What’s your problem, then?”

“Sorry,” He said truthfully, before delving back into the lies. “It’s just… a little embarrassing to talk to someone about this.” Well, maybe that wasn’t a lie. He just had to stop stalling. “So, the main couple is…” He blurted out the first names that came to his mind. “Oskar—”  
She gasped in excitement. “Oskar, like from Tusk Love?”

The title sounded familiar, but he knew virtually nothing about it. Until now. He shook his head. “Just a coincidence. He and Corvus have been good friends for… a while,” he explained the situation almost perfectly, sprinkling in a few details to make it seem less like reality. Jester rarely commented, giving him her rapt attention. “But now, I’m kind of… stuck. I feel like there should be some kind of confrontation, but neither of them really seem like the type to… initiate something like that.” He raised a brow. “What do you think?”

Jester mulled it over. She unconsciously moved while lost in thought, tapping her finger against the table. It was… interesting to watch her subtle face journey progress over the sparse seconds before she spoke up again. “Okay,” she stopped tapping. “Idea: let it fester a little bit.”

“Let… what fester?”

“You know, the awkwardness.” Jester answered like it was obvious. “You said it yourself: neither of them would confront each other, so work with that. Let the sexual tension build and build and _buiiiiild_ , and _then…_ ” She leaned forward like she was sharing a secret. “Get them alone, somewhere private, so they can talk it out. Then probably make out. Maybe more.” She leaned back. “What do you think? Would that work?”

…Huh. It’d be a little difficult to translate that advice to something he could use, but maybe he could find a way. Instead of ‘letting the awkwardness fester’, he could give Fjord space. Let the matter breathe a bit. “…Yeah,” he said. “That could work.” He stood up from his spot. “Thank you, Jester.”

She shrugged. “No problem.” He was almost out of earshot when she spoke up again. “Oh, and ‘Deucey?”

He turned back to see her with a look that made him feel… strangely uneasy. “Yes?”

“That advice works for fictional characters in smut books,” she told him. “Not real people.”

Okay, that was concerning. But he tried his best to play it off. “Of course.”

“Mhm,” she hummed. “One last thing?”

“Yes?”

Right before she spoke again, he figured out what her look meant. Dread dropped through his stomach like a stone thrown in a pond. 

“Good luck with Fjord.” She punctuated with a wink.

She knew.

_Oh Melora._

**Author's Note:**

> whoopsie  
> please leave a comment! i love hearing feedback!  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish  
> my discord: MyBatteryIsLowAndItsGettingDark


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